i just chugged an energy drink so im fairly awake right now
i hate when dudes i have a crush on just treat me like im a guy friend. im a girl and was born a girl.
i guess its just because im ugly. im not trying to sound like a "pick me" either. im very much a girls girl
or whatever its called.
ive spent a lot of my life feeling like i wasnt a girl. maybe its a mental illness or something. im not transgender, though i do respect transgender people.
recently ive been trying to get in touch with my feminine side, but i guess it doesnt really work out very well.
i want to be seen as a pretty girl. a lot of dudes just think im gay. well, i guess they're right? i like girls, i like dudes too though.
i would let a large muscular girl overpower me i think. i wouldnt let a muscular man overpower me though.
i like when guys are ugly and desperate.
i want a guy thats fairly ugly, funny, smart, loyal, and desperate. id like a guy to love me as much as i love him.
i feel like i love differently than everyone else. if i were to be in a relationship with someone, i would worship them.
but the thing is, id want the guy to feel the same about me. i want him to be as desperate as i am.
short dudes are cute too. well, i guess that would just be dudes the same height as me.
tall guys are cool too i guess, but
i wouldnt be able to do anything. why would i want to get on my tip toes just to kiss someone?
sometimes im scared ill be 300% worse mentally in a couple years. i think i might be incredibly delusional.
sometimes ill think of something crazy and ill have to tell myself that im better than that
i sound like the corniest person on the earth. calling myself corny is even corny-er
if any of you had read my stuff yesterday or today, i appreciate it and please dont make fun of me
i think im done talking about love and guys for a while though. its gotten repetitive and even im tired of it.
anyways, i like having my own space. sure, you all can just look at it but who cares. maybe im entertaining someone, that would
make me happy. the old internet was cool because everybody just did stuff like this. well, not the old old internet, i havent been around
long enough for that. i just mean forums and stuff from 2012-2015. i miss forums and i think they should make a main stream comeback. everyone
was anonymous and had conversations that actually went somewhere. nowadays people are too open on the internet.
sometimes i think about actually having to do things in my life and it makes me want to die
